I read an article a while back on what it takes to change your life. It was a helpful article, but it missed several important insights that need to be understood if we want to change our life and begin living the life we’ve been dreaming about living.
The first important insight came to me as a result of years working with clients in my counseling practice. I discovered that almost everyone eventually comes to the realization that they are stuck living a life that’s not emotionally challenging or satisfying—–because we begin creating our lives at a time in life when we really don’t have the wisdom or life experience we need for such an important task.
So the first important insight is the reality that you are not alone or unique. It’s common to come to a point in life when you recognize that things need to change if you want to live the life you have dreamed about living. What will make you unique is having the courage to follow your dreams. Unfortunately, most people don’t and they live to regret it.
The second important insight is the recognition that the changes you want to make are going to require courage, and the willingness to pay the emotional price required, to make those changes happen. This second insight requires embracing the reality that the price of change is always going to be high. It may mean going back to school, renegotiating or ending an unfulfilling relationship, leaving a good paying job that has become boring, or moving to another state.
The bottom line: change is never easy. It always requires courage to embrace the fears that arise whenever we choose to enter the unknown. Unfortunately, most people are not willing to pay the price, and they too live to regret it.
The third important insight is probably the most important and the most difficult for most people to accept and overcome. And that is the belief that you are not smart enough or gifted enough to achieve your dreams. The client that taught me this powerful insight was convinced that if she followed her dream and was successful, the visibility that came with that success would cause people to discover that she was really stupid and incompetent. Eventually she was able to “see” the childhood fear and conditioning that had been controlling her life for over 40 years! Fearful of the “visibility” that comes with success had prevented her from “showing up” and turning her dream into a reality.
I saw this fear of success control the lives of many clients over the years. Unfortunately, this is a difficult childhood learning to overcome, but those without the insight and courage to overcome that conditioning, too often live to regret it.
The fourth important insight required to successfully begin creating the life they’ve dreamed about living is the importance of discovering your life purpose. Until your dreams include your life purpose; the reason you were born; what your soul came here to do ——–it’s almost impossible to embrace the courage required to make the changes that will allow you to begin creating the life you’ve dreamed about living.
When you discover your “true” life purpose, it will include adding value to the lives of others. It is very difficult to overcome the fears that keep us stuck living a life that lacks meaning. However, when our focus shifts from improving our own life, to that of adding value and improving the lives of others, the courage to change our own life will cease to be an issue. When our life is about working for the well being of others, our personal fears will no longer have the power to control or limit our dreams.
I have never met an unhappy person whose life fully embraces their life purpose. And I’ve never met a person who has regrets about living a life that adds value to the lives of others.