Today we are going to be discussing happiness, and it’s often rocky, conflict-ridden relationship with love.
And you might be surprised by what you are about to learn.
We’ll begin by taking a look at why true happiness can sometimes be so difficult to achieve in our relationships with those around us, and then we’ll take a look at what each of us can do to begin creating the healthy and happy relationships we so much want to experience in our lives.
I think it’s safe to say that virtually everyone wants to be happy in their relationships … with their friends, their homes, their children, and especially in their marriages and primary relationships.
Why is it that, despite the often significant amount of time and energy we invest in attempting to achieve happiness in our lives, many of the important relationships we have with those we love so often end in sadness and conflict?
Why is this true?
Building Healthy Relationships: The first reason true happiness is so difficult to achieve in our relationships with others is because we spend most of our adult lives under the control of a powerful alien presence.
I’m not kidding! But continue reading, it’s not as bad as it sounds.
The alien inside the psyche of each of us is the unconscious primitive ego of our inner-child … the part of our ego that ran our lives when we were very young children.
What we don’t know is that this unconscious inner-child still continues to exercise a great deal of control over our day to day lives as adults…especially when we are stressed!!!
Our primitive ego is not bad. And it is primitive only in the sense that it is a very young and immature part of our overall psyche.
But the primitive ego of our inner-child it is very powerful, and it often makes us do and say things that are not in our best interest. Especially when it interferes in our relationships with others.
Because it’s young and immature, our primitive ego tends to be very self-focused and more than a little narcissistic. It is very self-focused on its own feelings, needs and wants!!
It is also very invested in always being right!!! It gets very angry when others tell us we are wrong or attempt to criticize us!!
Our primitive ego also gets angry when someone takes away something it feels is ours or when another person assumes that their needs and feelings are more important than ours!
And when someone tells us to do something we don’t want to do our primitive ego can quickly become very oppositional and irritated.
In other words, we may look like mature, mild-mannered, civilized adults on the outside, but when we are overwhelmed emotionally, or when someone or something challenges us or creates stress for us, our self-focused primitive ego will very quickly and aggressively take control of our psyche.
When that happens, conflict is almost certain to enter our lives.