Inner Child Grows Up by Helping Others – Insights from the Wilderness #130

Inner Child Grows UpUntil we help others get what “they” want in life, hard work alone will not get us what “we” want. Reaching our life goals is a team sport. We must be willing to add value to the lives of those around us.

Unfortunately, these ideas will not make sense to the self-obsession of our primitive ego. If we want to be successful in life, we have to first tame our unconscious primitive ego by a conscious commitment to intentionally grow inself-awareness”—–to find the courage to bring our intellect into resonance with the wisdom of our deeper heart energy.

During my years as a mental health counselor I met many people struggling with self-esteem issues and discouragement. They would describe years of frustration, struggle and disappointment attempting to find happiness, to be successful, to find meaning and purpose in their life. They described life as a rut that didn’t make sense. For them, life was a never-ending treadmill that left them feeling hopeless and depressed.

These were bright, often well-educated, attractive people that at first glance appeared to be happy and successful, but many reported a previously failed marriage, conflicts at work, and a long list of unhappy relationships with others.

Their problem was not a lack of desire or motivation to be successful in life. Their problem was not a lack of effort. In fact the harder they tried to create a happy life, the more they seemed to experience frustration and discouragement. By the time I met them, they were demoralized and spiritually exhausted.

Their primitive ego’s obsession with their own needs had unknowingly led them into a spiritual wasteland.

What was missing in their life was a lack of self-awareness. They were not aware they were attempting to build a successful, meaningful, happy adult life on the illusions and reality distortions of their isolated, unconscious, inner-child’s primitive ego psyche.

They hadn’t awakened to the realization that they were living their lives under the illusion their emotionally reactive inner-child actually possessed the insights, experiences, and wisdom required to create a successful “adult” life.

They hadn’t yet awakened to the realization that when the foundational structures of their inner-child’s unconscious primitive ego are weak, and built on the sands of illusion by childhood beliefs that seriously distort reality———their goal of becoming a happy, successful, awakened and enlightened adult would be all but impossible to attain.

They hadn’t yet learned that life is a team sport. The rugged individualism of the Marlboro man———the icon we value so much in our modern culture——may look romantic, but for most us, the reality of riding off alone into the wilderness on our horse is a sure formula for depression and loneliness.

Over time, those clients who had the courage to shine the light of their consciousness into the shadows of their primitive childhood ego, all grew in self-awareness. They all experienced change in their lives. Instead of searching for meaning out in the world, they began to change themselves “internally”——who they were, and how they thought.

Over time, the self-transformation and evolution in consciousness they experienced allowed them to “see” the world through very different eyes. As they awakened, their journey from unconscious primitive ego to a more enlightened adult observing ego allowed them to begin using their life energy to create the future they had envisioned for themselves for so many years.

Instead of fighting reality, they began to work “with” the Spirit, or Evolutionary Impulse to “Become”, immanent and incarnate in all creation. They became team players with life.

The self-transformation and growth in consciousness they experienced through intentional self-awareness allowed them to move beyond their unconscious primitive ego psyche and embrace their authentic, true self. They began to create resonance and coherence between their thinking consciousness and their deeper heart energy. They “became” the change they wanted to “see” in the world.

As they strengthened their observing ego consciousness, they began to witness and observe their emotions and life experiences.  They were no longer emotionally trapped and unconsciously imbedded “in” their emotions or their life experiences.

They became a more mature, evolved, and awakened adult consciousness capable of manifesting their true potential, and creating the life they were born to live. But most importantly, they began to add value to the lives of others.

Next week we will take a more in-depth look at the structures of our unconscious primitive ego, and explore how we actually awaken our consciousness and use intentional self-awareness to create the solid “self” foundation required for true evolutionary growth in human consciousness——the authentic spiritual growth of an evolved “self” that leads to happiness and success in life.

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