Why is happiness so difficult to attain? When we do experience happiness, why is it so hard to stay happy?
Part of the problem is the false belief that true sustainable happiness is a difficult and challenging emotional state that somehow has to be attained through hard work and unending effort.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
We already possess all the happiness that exists in the universe. We have always possessed it. So why then is experiencing happiness so difficult to achieve?
The answer is simple.
Achieving a true and sustainable happiness means we have to eliminate the false beliefs, illusions, and emotions that keep us from experiencing the happiness we already possess.
We must also learn to live more fully in the present moment……..the only true reality that exists.
Living in the moment is a difficult skill to incorporate into our lives when our thoughts and emotions are held hostage by the unconscious primitive ego of our inner-child. When our primitive ego is in control of our lives; when we are trapped in the illusions of the past or focused on worries and concerns about the future, it is virtually impossible to keep our adult observing consciousness grounded in the reality of the present moment….the only place true happiness exists.
The concepts of Primitive Ego Psychology taught in the Stonyhill Newsletter provide important insights into three simple but important spiritual practices needed to remove the unconscious barriers that undermine our efforts to be happy.
- Spiritual Practice #1 – To achieve true happiness we must learn to let go of our primitive ego’s black-and-white, all-or-nothing duality thinking….a thinking process that keeps us trapped in the illusions of our certainties and rigid beliefs.
When we were young children surrounded by the complexities of the adult world it was important to keep our life simple and manageable. To accomplish that goal we learned to split reality into good or bad, right or wrong, all or nothing categories.
Our primitive ego, the young ego of childhood that unconsciously resides in each of us, is convinced that all our beliefs represents absolute truth…..“THE” truth. Virtually all of the conflict, stress, and unhappiness we experience in life is created by our primitive ego’s insistence that “our” beliefs are “right”.
Experiencing true happiness means learning to walk the middlepath in life…..learning that truth is found on both sides of any issue. The bottom line……..rigid black-and-white thinking is a sure path to unhappiness.
- Spiritual Practice #2 – Achieving true happiness means learning the art of allowing others to choose their own life path and drop our judgments about their choices.
If we want the right to determine our own path, then we have to be willing to stop judging the paths and choices that others make. We can’t have it both ways.
Our primitive ego of course, is judgmentally convinced that “our”path and “our” life choices are the only correct ones.
Experiencing true happiness means not only allowing others to make their own choices free of our primitive ego judgmentalism, we have to learn how to actually affirm their choices.
The art of “allowing” empathically encourages and supports others as they work to make their dreams and desires come true.
The bottom line…….judgmentalism of how others have chosen to live their lives is a sure path to conflict and unhappiness.
- Spiritual Practice #3 – Achieving true happiness requires that we embrace an attitude of service and selfless concern for the well-being of others……an empathic concern for others without regard to any personal reward or recognition.
The unconscious primitive ego of our inner-child is self-focused and narcissistically self-absorbed. It is convinced that happiness still comes from grasping for personal power and material “stuff” of the world just as it did in early childhood. It believes that security and happiness come only from a me-first, survival of the fittest mentality.
Altruism and an unselfish focus on the welfare of others is an inner attitude that only our more mature, enlightened, and awakened adult observing ego consciousness can sustain.
When we focus on helping others we relax the unconscious self-focused grip that the primitive ego has over our psyche and our lives.
The bottom line…….a narcissistic, me-first, survival of the fittest mentality is a sure path to loneliness and unhappiness.
Because our life journey is an evolutionary spiritual journey from our unconscious primitive ego consciousness to that of an awakened and enlightened consciousness, true happiness is achieved only when we are working with the evolutionary spiritual goals of the living, evolving, conscious universe….a spiritual concept that our unconscious, self-obsorbed primitive ego is unable to grasp.