Surviving Divorce: A Journey into the Wilderness – Insights from the Wilderness #56

Surviving DivorceCoping with change and surviving the crises that life sometimes brings us can be challenging.  Surviving divorce is certainly one of those challenges.

In fact, there are few changes or losses in life more painful or disruptive than divorce.

The changes created by a divorce impact almost every facet of a person’s life.

Anyone who has experienced a divorce will know what I’m talking about.

But despite how it might feel, divorce does not mean our life is over.

Like all the big changes that life has a way of bringing us, divorce can be an opportunity to re-define who we are, and to begin creating a new life based on our larger life purpose…….an opportunity to begin creating the life we have been dreaming about.

But these opportunities will come only if you have the courage to survive the wilderness you will find yourself traveling through after a divorce; a wilderness that can be dark and frightening.

When life’s journey leads us into the wilderness, those with the courage to move forward and embrace the experience will have the opportunity to learn some of life’s more important lessons and deeper wisdoms.

It is in those wilderness crucibles of pain and struggle that we come to know who we really are, who we want to become, and the kind of life we want to create for ourselves.

The routines, distractions, and never-ending responsibilities of day-to-day life have the numbing ability to put us to sleep; to render us unconscious to the reality that we have been unknowingly living a life that others have created “for” us…..an unconscious way of life that probably began as far back as early childhood.

The wilderness is a magical and mystical place of awakening to the passion that is possible in this thing called “our life”. It simply requires the courage and a willingness to embrace the experience and the pain that we encounter there.

It is helpful to remind ourselves there is no birthing without pain.

Without a wilderness experience, growth in self-awareness and the authentic spiritual growth that comes “through” growth in self-awareness, is almost impossible for most of us to achieve.

The wilderness confronts our unrealistic expectations, certainties, and beliefs, that distort reality……especially our human tendency to want to “push the river” and avoid those realities that are painful.

Because we tend to embrace growth and personal transformation best when the pain of where we are is worse than the fear of where we have to go, the wilderness can be a powerful crucible of change and personal transformation.

Without the growth and change that the wilderness encourages, life would quickly become boring and depressing.

An anonymous poet once described our personal consciousness as a brilliant flash of light, which is then followed by darkness for eternity.

Our growth in self-awareness—–being fully aware and present to our own personal flash of light——the awakening of our consciousness that comes from our wilderness experiences—— is one of life’s greatest gifts

No journey toward enlightenment can successfully avoid traveling through the wilderness.

Divorce will certainly take you there, but courage and the willingness to grow while you’re there will take you toward your dreams.

Dick Rauscher

 

 

What challenges have you faced with divorce? What topics would you like to see discussed? Let me know by commenting below.

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4 Responses to Surviving Divorce: A Journey into the Wilderness – Insights from the Wilderness #56

  1. Michael August 17, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    I love this Nugget! Your powerful words unlocked my memory bank and reminded me of a past trial and my own personal transformation. And yes when “enough was enough”, it was then and only then, that I chose that journey of growth, being mindful of every moment and ascending a path of celebrating life. The wilderness metaphor is brilliant and oh so true.

    • DickRauscher August 17, 2011 at 9:18 am #

      Hi Michael,
      Thanks for the kind words. Personal transformation is never simple or easy. When we are willing to fully embrace the pain the transformation process eventually leads us out of the wilderness and back into the light. Thanks for sharing your journey and the insights that came from the journey…..I like “ascending a path of celebrating life”. You have a wonderful way of using words to convey deep truths!

  2. Drew Guild August 17, 2011 at 7:05 am #

    Thank you Dick,

    I always enjoy your insight. I should right the book – having been through a spouse that died of Ovarian Cancer and an amicable divorce. The challenge – besides “righting the ship and not pushing the river” – is, that both being prominent this small community, double loop learning. Is one is doing the right thing when making decisions which sometimes involves the primitive ego. Other times decisions need to be made which eschew the trappings of primitive ego. Truly tough with so much gray area. One can’t compartmentalize each facet. Am I making sense? Right choices. Doing “the right” thing.

    • DickRauscher August 17, 2011 at 10:14 am #

      Hi Drew,
      Your right….the journey through the wilderness is never easy….the choices and decisions we have to make are never cut and dried…….always the gray of paradox. Just trust your intuition….it is usually right on target. When it’s not it’s called a learning. :-))
      When we get enough learnings…..it’s called wisdom……..usually comes with a lot of gray hairs.
      Being prominent in a community definitely makes the journey harder and more complicated.
      Remember….one day at a time.

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