Need to Be Right Leads to Unhappiness – Insights from the Wilderness #8

Need to Be Right Leads to UnhappinessThe need to be right all of the time can leads to unhappiness in our relationships with others

When the dualistic, black-and-white thinking process of our inner-child’s primitive ego is unconsciously carried into adulthood we tend to become judgmental and critical of others.

In other words, our primitive ego’s need to be “right” may help us feel comfortable and safe in childhood, but the assumption that our beliefs are always “right” only creates adult categories of “otherness”…..judgmental walls that separate us from “those people” who

  • do not agree with us, or
  • don’t look like us, or
  • don’t live like we do, or
  • don’t dress like we do, or
  • don’t talk like we do, or
  • don’t have the same religious beliefs we do, or
  • are richer or poorer than we are.

To make matters even worse, our primitive ego is not only invested in being “right”, it also likes to think that “it” is the center of the universe and it is convinced that the universe is supposed to work exactly the way “we” think it should work……in other words, the “right” way.

To state this concept simply, it is virtually impossible to use the unconscious, dualistic thinking process of our primitive ego and not be labeling, rejecting, critical, opinionated and judgmental of virtually everyone around us.

The more our primitive ego is invested in being “right”, the greater the potential exists for our “know it all” judgmentalism to create conflict with others.

When we need to be “right” we quickly lose our ability to be compassionate and tolerant. Without the ability to be compassionate, our life can become very lonely and unhappy.

“Not knowing”, the opposite of needing to be “right”, is a powerful spiritual practice for anyone seeking happiness.


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