Your Inner-Child – Insights from the Wilderness #9

© Dick Rauscher, 2011

If you are unhappy, if you have a lot of conflict in your relationships with others, if you are not as successful as you would like to be, it’s probably because the primitive ego of your unconscious five year old inner-child is out of control and attempting to run your adult life.

Your Inner-ChildHow can we know this is what’s happening?

Very easily.

Our inner-child tends to be

  • right-and-wrong in its thinking,
  • impatient,
  • easily angered when criticized,
  • defensive when our beliefs are challenged,
  • easily irritated when things don’t go the way we want them to go,
  • it runs up credit card bills it can’t pay because it has no ability to think more than a few minutes or days into the future,
  • it has almost no ability to connect choices with consequences,
  • it insists it is always right because it believes that it’s beliefs represent absolute truth,
  • it compulsively has to correct other people when it thinks they are doing something wrong,
  • it procrastinates and would rather play than work,
  • it tends to be very narcissistic or “me” oriented,
  • it likes being in control, and,
  • when it “believes” something to be true, it assumes that it “must” be true.

Sound familiar? If you answered yes, “welcome to the club”. If you answered no, be careful, you may be in denial. Check with your family members or friends to see if they agree with you.

We can look and behave as matured adults, but when we are stressed we are very likely to regress back into the behaviors we learned as young children.

If we want to change, then we must be willing to accept that perhaps our inner-child is indeed in control of our life….but we must avoid being self-judgmental. Our inner-child has simply been trying to take care of us the best way it knows how…..using the skills, insights, and learning’s of a five year old.

Psychologists refer to stages of human consciousness when they should be referring to states of human development, and it misleads us into thinking we are matured and evolved……..when in fact we often act like spoiled children.

Temporarily achieving higher states of consciousness is easy, but achieving a sustainable stage of human consciousness is far more challenging. Stages of consciousness are achieved only when we are able to sustain them regardless of what is going on around us.

Yes, we are evolving. Yes we do have a higher, more evolved level of consciousness today than we did a few generations back, but unfortunately most humans alive in the world today are still under the control of their inner-child’s primitive ego……..especially when they are stressed.

So how do we go about getting our “adult” back in charge?

Step 1 – Accept that our inner-child is controlling our life. Once we recognize how common it is in our culture we will see the inner-child in ourselves and in almost everyone we know….”You did too!” “No I didn’t” “Did too!” “Did not!”

Step 2 – Don’t put ourselves down. Just acknowledge or “awaken” to the reality.

Step 3 – Make the decision that we are going to learn how to evolve our consciousness and begin to change.

Step 4 – Pay careful attention to the energy we are sending into our world…..especially when we are emotionally upset or stressed. If we don’t like what we are seeing, simple look inward for the belief behind our behavior. If we are committed to changing, we will eventually discover the belief causing the problem.

When we are willing to take these four simple steps, our journey toward happiness and success will have begun.

Intentional self-awareness and a commitment to change are the keys to growth.

Please leave a comment below and tell me what you think.

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2 Responses to Your Inner-Child – Insights from the Wilderness #9

  1. Arun September 12, 2012 at 6:05 am #

    My childhood has gone through to lack of freedom and too much of pampering by parents and relatives and when i grow up i was unable to take freedom and due to that i dont have my own opnions and opnions which i have are the result of lack of freedom at my childhood and i unknowngly expecting too much love and recognition from others and i couldnt be alright if some one says my opnions are wrong and i feel bad when somone decides and judges in them,,,,,and myself know that these things are going with me and started bheaving as if i am good and i am aware that i am in this way ,…..but unable to change myself….

  2. Robert Dion June 13, 2012 at 12:27 am #

    I’m an obese individual and have been trying to control my inner child for quite a while now with no success. Having lived my young life in a zero – love environnement, I find myself now in my late 50’s dead inside. I’ve been seeing a wonderful psych for the past 4 years, we’ve been advancing very slowly towards controlling my inner child, unfortunately the inner child in me is very strong and deeply rooted. Anyways, your words ring true.

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